What My Favorite College Student Proved

I am honored to know a young man, whose first name is Mark, who was once a student of mine. He succeeded in reinforcing one of those valuable but not-so-self-evident truths: understand and appreciate who and what you are, and live it even if it means going against the best expectations of others.

Mark's story is one of gentle defiance. Without detailing a history, let's fast-forward to the summer between his sophomore and junior year of college 2 years ago.

Never one to wait for opportunity to knock, Mark would take opportunities where the most talented among us would shrink in self-doubt or in fear of failure. He accepted an internship in what is regarded as one of the highest profile institutions in the world, headquartered in Washington, DC. In his first week, he impressed his superiors enough to realize that they wanted him to stay awhile. But he was Joe College, and Mark was going to do things on his own time.

After he returned to the same job last summer, Mark was approached with the carrot of coming back after graduation. True to form and defying all conventional logic, he declined their offer. It's one that any Ivy League grad would take in a heart-beat. Even I was stunned. When I pressed him for an explanation, his defiance was registered in words I paraphrase: "I need to see the world through my eyes, not through anyone's else's."

With his parents having to endure the occasional adolescent spasms of protest and resistence, they came to accept and admire a son who, like his talented brother before him, were taught that self-reliance is regarded as a necessary ingredient for success. But his defiance this time seemed to be going a bit too far: his current resume is more substantial than any of his college classmates and is perhaps more appealing than that of any recent Harvard grad. But unexpectedly he's not turning his back completely on what he earlier regarded as just another element of life's journey he didn't have to take seriously.

That's because Mark will be heading to a new college where there's no tuiton, no books, no classes, and no parents to question him about anything. It's actually a college that will come to him instead of him going to it. Pretty extraordinary place filled with all kinds of surprises. It's a place most of us are familiar with, it's called the University of Reality, and it's in his face big time.
For the very first time he told me, "I've got bills to pay." You know, the kind that comes from the demands of his new universe-ity. Recognition of this reality deserves a PhD in Duh. His parents are thrilled that he finally "gets it."

Defiance for defiance sake is not this young man's style. He defies with respect for who he is and has always been: someone with a strong and positive attitude who doesn't quit in the face of all odds because of a simple belief - you can have what you want when you want it if you simply recognize and accept the value of your own talents.

And he's proved to his summer employer, but more importantly to himself, that success doesn't depend on where you went to college or what your pedigree is.

And he did it, not as a graduate of Harvard, Princeton, or Yale, but as a student at UMass Dartmouth, where he will graduate from today.

What he does from this point on, his mother has assured me, will be of some concern for her. But his admiring father waits with a child-like excitement and anticipation on what he does next.

Mark has chosen his life, not to be a period, but an exclamation point! Which is why I am so proud to call him...my son.